(first published Oct 2010)
In doing some adoption research (you know, reading things from other adoptees online to make myself feel better, or at least not so alone, lol) I came across an article by a mom who had given up her baby for adoption many years ago.
I’m not going to link, 1- because it’s only an example of the general idea I’m about to “throw out there” and 2 – I lost the link. 😉
The article was beautiful and heartfelt despite it’s obvious grim subject matter. The author described her life choices of aborting one baby and giving up the other for adoption. She says, and many of the scores of commenters agreed with her, having done the same themselves, that having an abortion was a “blip” on their emotional radar compared to the utter agony of giving up a child for adoption.
Having lived the other side of that coin – the sometimes crippling grief of being relinquished and being treated as a “non-person,” a commodity, I understand what they are saying.
So pro-lifers out there (of which I am one), that is what you are up against. Better the baby’s in heaven than “thrown out there into the universe for who knows what” to happen to. And deep in my heart I agree, although I would never be the one to take my baby’s life, nor do I believe anyone else should either. But relinquishing the child breaks the mother in two forever – something society isn’t dealing with well.
If we want abortion to end, we need to A) change society to understand that suffering is redemptive (good luck!), B) somehow get people to understand that sex and procreation really DO go together no matter what that pill you are taking says (again, good luck!), and especially C) pour your energies into ways to help the moms KEEP THEIR CHILDREN. Suggesting adoption for the most part drives women away. Who would want to give away their baby??
I think this is so much more complicated than the average pro-lifer understands.