No one is to blame

(first published June 2011)

It seems like every time I go food shopping they are playing Howard Jones’ No One Is To Blame.  I’ve always loved that song.  Today, after an emotional discussion with dh earlier in the day, I was primed to see just how much that song reflects how I feel every day.  If the “her” in “you want her” is a mother with unconditional love or the child you gave up, and you see past the typical euphemism of “wanting her” and see it for what it really is – wanting love, wanting acceptance, wanting to belong, wanting to be real, wanting the eternal ties that got broken, you can see how this song reflects adoptees/first moms, reunited or not.

And if you are into 80’s big hair, or Howard Jones, or both, you can watch the video. 🙂  I’ve put the lyrics under it. I thought about highlighting the lyrics that really resonated with me, but it wound up being almost the entire song. So never mind.

You can look at the menu but you just can’t eat
You can feel the cushions but you can’t have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool
but you can’t have a swim
You can feel the punishment but you can’t commit the sin
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one,
no one ever is to blame

You can build a mansion but you just can’t live in it
You’re the fastest runner but you’re not allowed to win
Some break the rules
And live to count the cost
The insecurity is the thing that won’t get lost
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one,
no one ever is to blame

You can see the summit but you can’t reach it
It’s the last piece of the puzzle but
you just can’t make it fit
Doctor says you’re cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain
And you want her and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one,
no one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame

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