(first published Aug 2007)
Just one more thought brought up by the new book I’m reading (see below – no time to get all linky on you, lol).
They had some questions in the beginning of the book – one was along the lines of “how would you react if you saw a police car with lights flashing pulling you over?” I didn’t fit any of the answers. My first thought was, “I would think, ‘Oh no, dh is going to be soooooo mad at me!!!”
Now seriously, that was my first gut reaction, and it is my first gut reaction to almost anything that happens around the house that isn’t “perfect”… something overflows, dinner burns, I didn’t clean up enough before he got home, etc.
But HELLO??? My dh is one of the most laid back and loving people I know. He is SO wonderful! Yes, he gets upset by stuff, usually stuff that HE does wrong (i.e. he will get very upset with himself on the rare occasion HE gets pulled over). And he does get mad at me, usually if I am getting too harsh with the kids (and I deserve it).
Sooooo…why in the world am I reacting the way I am? I think I have put all that people pleasing angst (see post directly below) and thrust it all onto my dh. I *definitely* think I’m still reacting to the way I was raised, and putting those old “scripts” into my head. My parents really WOULD be SO MAD if I did something wrong … and it was never immoral/sinful stuff, it was usually accidents or not understanding my parents true feelings on something…
But I don’t live with my parents anymore! I live with a wonderful dh. I wonder how to erase the old scripts and live in my REALITY??